The parish has five priests. They are available to serve sacraments such as Baptism, Confession and Marriage. You can also call on them in the event of serious illness or death. If you need a personal meeting, you can make an appointment with one of them, either after the service or through the secretariat. Our priests speak Dutch, Russian, Ukrainian, Greek, English and other languages.

Baptism

Preparing for baptism at St Nicholas Parish

In this document you find information about the process of preparation for Holy Baptism at St. Nicholas Parish.

The process

Requests for baptism are sent to the parish secretariat. After this, the preparation for baptism (the catechumenate, see below) begins. The parents fill out the questionnaire for the baptism certificate and the parish registry. A date is set for a preparatory talk (or talks), and then for the baptism itself. After the baptism, the parents are sent a certificate of baptism.

Preparation (catechumenate)

Baptism is preceded by a period of preparation. This period is called “catechumenate”. Preparation for baptism concerns both the parents and the godparents. The essence of baptismal preparation is to give those involved a clear understanding of the meaning of baptism and to prepare for it spiritually. 

First, both parents and godparents (if they do not do so regularly) should read at least one of the Gospels, for instance according to Mark (the most direct and shortest), Matthew (the most structured) or John (the most mystical). The Gospel is the foundation of Christian life. Both godparents and parents should also thoroughly study the Creed. 

Secondly, it is important to deepen the understanding of baptism itself. Attached you find a list of helpful materials.

Spiritual preparation

Besides reading and reflection on the sacrament of baptism, it is recommended that both godparents and (Orthodox) parents also go to confession before baptism, allowing them to receive Holy Communion together with the newly baptized after baptism. Confessions can be made on Saturdays during the all-night vigil, on Sundays between 9:30 until the Gospel reading, or by appointment. 

Godparents

Traditionally, a boy should have at least a godfather and a girl a godmother. Usually there are no more than two godparents. In the conditions of life in the West, we require at least one of the godparents to be Orthodox; of course, both godparents must be baptized. 

Godparents take upon themselves a serious responsibility. They confess the faith on behalf of the child and answer in the affirmative to the question of union with God. By agreeing to be a godparent, the person agrees to participate in the spiritual and religious upbringing of the child, helping the child at some point to say of itself: “I believe”. Therefore, it is preferable if godparents themselves are also involved in the life of the Church. 

Godparents are physically present at baptism. In exceptional cases, remote participation by correspondence is possible.

Where does the baptism take place?

Our church has a small baptismal chapel. It can hold up to about 20-25 people. If a larger number of guests are expected, the baptism takes place in the main church. Please inform the priest in advance.

Duration of the service

The ceremony of baptism lasts about 45 minutes – an hour. Please come 15-20 minutes before the beginning of the service.

Language of the service

The service can be conducted in Church Slavonic, Dutch, English, Greek, French, German and in modern Russian. Please agree on the language(s) of the service with the priest in advance.

Questionnaire and certificate (здесь нужна будет ссылка на форму в формате Ms Word )

During your preparation, you will fill in a questionnaire. This questionnaire is used to fill in the baptism certificate and the parish registry book. The information on the questionnaire is treated confidentially in accordance with the law.

Selection of a patron saint

In our tradition, children are named after a saint. In earlier times, children would be named “by calendar”, meaning that they would be named after the saint whose feast coincided with their birthday. Today most parents select a saint who is close to them in terms of life or spirituality. The patron saint is chosen by the parents. There exists a service for naming the child on the eighth day after birth, but this is not done everywhere. You can indicate the patron saint and the child’s namesday in the questionnaire (see Wikipedia for instance). Please bear in mind that if you follow the Julian (“old”) calendar as our parish does, the namesday falls 13 days after the calendar date. For instance, the feast of St. Nicholas falls on 6 December according to the church calendar and is celebrated on 19 December according to the usual calendar. One last remark: girls are not named after the Mother of God.

After baptism

Baptism is the gateway to Christian life. Shortly after baptism (on one of the following Sundays), the baptized person receives Holy Communion. In our parish tradition, the newly baptized receives Communion first. After this, it is recommended to come to church regularly, to accustom the child to the space of the church, to the services, to praying together (at home and in the church). The parish also offers activities for children.

What to prepare

• A baptismal robe. The meaning of the robe is that in baptism a person is renewed and purified. Therefore, the robe should always be white. There exist special baptismal robes (also in the Netherlands; just search “doopjurk” online), but if you have no special robe, you can buy a simple white dress or shirt. The shirt is only worn after the immersion in water; at the beginning of the service, the child may be dressed in any clothing (however a baby should wear socks, not one-piece bodysuits with integrated socks, as at the beginning of the baptism there is an anointing of the feet). 
• A cross and a chain or cord
• Two new white towels
• Determine the patron saint after whom you wish to have a child named 
• Please buy a candle for each person present (these are lit by the priest during the service)
• Sometimes godparents give the godchild an icon of his or her patron saint

Practical matters

• On Saturdays and Mondays, there is a market in the vicinity of the church; it is very difficult to park on these days. Please inform your guests aware of this as well.
• Parking in the area is very expensive at around €7.50 per hour.
• Children may hold a candle during the baptism, but parents are asked to watch that they do not wave the candle.
• Photographs and videos are allowed but must not disturb the service.
• Technical facilities for video connection are available

Adult baptism 

Adults wishing to be baptized or to convert from another Christian denomination to Orthodoxy undergo a longer and more in-depth preparation. They write a motivation letter to the Metropolitan, requesting his blessing for initiating their initiation. After the period of catechumenate (approximately one year), the baptism takes place in the font of the chapel, where full immersion baptism for adults is possible. Baptismal robes for adults are available.

Ecclesial jurisdiction 

The Orthodox parish of Saint Nicholas of Myra is under the ecclesial jurisdiction (omophorion) of the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople. Its ruling bishop is Metropolitan Athenagoras of Belgium and the Netherlands. Sacraments administered in the churches of the Ecumenical Patriarchate are recognized in all local Orthodox Churches, including the Russian Orthodox Church. It is important to remember that through baptism the person enters into the one Orthodox Church, not into a “jurisdiction.”

Donation

When a person is baptized, it is customary to make a donation. By donating you cover the costs (for electricity, gas) and support the life of the parish. You decide the amount of your donation yourself according to your abilities. From each baptism we transfer 50 euros to the diocese; anything above that serves the needs of the parish. You can either make a donation to the account of the parish (IBAN: NL25 INGB 0004 1636 83, indicating the date of baptism) or give an envelope to the priest. Please pay for the candles separately at the candle table.

Materials in preparation of Baptism

Gospel

Preferably, during the preparation the parents and godparents should read at least of the of the four Gospels, if they do not already do so every day. 

Rite of Holy Baptism

We warmly recommend that the parents and godparents carefully study the full text of Baptism and Chrismation. 

• Olivier Clément, Cyrille Argenti and others, “The Living God: a Catechism for the Christian Faith”, SVS Press 1989. (An excellent and detailed introduction to the Orthodox Faith)
• Archbishop Paul of Finland: The Faith we Hold”, SVS Press 1980 (Simple and accessible catechism)
• Metropoliet Kallistos Ware, “The Orthodox Church”, Penguin 1993 (many reprints) (The most accessible and complete introduction to Orthodox Christianity)
• Father Thomas Hopko, “The Orthodox Faith” (Accessible and well-structured introduction to the Faith and sacraments)
• Father Alexander Schmemann, “Of Water and Spirit”, SVS Press 1974 (many reprints) (Essential reading for all those who want to understand the sacrament of Baptism)
• Lev Gillet, “The Year of Grace of the Lord: A Scriptural and Liturgical Commentary on the Calendar of the Orthodox Church” , SVS Press 1980 (Magnificent introduction into the Church year, both its themes and Bible readings)
• Archimandrite Nektarios (Antonopoulos), “The Return. Repentance and confession, the Return to God and His Church” , Akritas 2000 (reprints) (Beautiful work on repentance and confession, that can be used by parents and godparent in preparation for the baptism and possibly in preparation for participation in Holy Communion)

Marriage

Practical information on church marriages (crowning) in Saint Nicholas parish

There are ‘hard’ and ‘soft’ requirements for a church marriage (crowning).

‘Hard’ requirements:

• Civil marriage is a prerequisite for any church wedding (regardless of which country). This is a requirement of both secular and ecclesiastical regulations.
• There are specific moments and periods when marriages are celebrated. Marriages are not performed on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and during multi-day fasts.
• We recommend getting married on a Sunday afternoon after the liturgy, around 1-2 PM. Ideally (as is the Church’s intention), the bride and groom will receive Holy Communion before their crowning. However, Church rules also allow marriages on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
• Any marriage requires the Metropolitan’s blessing. The following information is needed to apply for this blessing:
  • Full name of both spouses
  • Place and date of birth of both spouses
  • Place (city, church) and date of the passage/adoption of both spouses 
  • A copy of the marriage certificate
• Both spouses must be Orthodox. Marriages with a Christian from other denominations require a separate blessing from the Metropolitan.
• Church marriages with non-Christians are not possible
• If both spouses have previously been married in church, there is a special service for second marriages.

‘Soft’ requirements:

• Church marriages are preceded by a preparation with the couple. We ask them to read literature and have conversations. The aim is twofold – on the one hand to get to know each other, on the other to explain the meaning of marriage. It is important for a church crowning not to be a ‘ceremony’ but an intentional sacrament of the Church. During the talks with the priest, practical aspects can also be discussed.
• In addition to practical preparation, spiritual preparation is also important. The sacraments of confession and Communion are significant here, but also mutual conversations about family life and the place of faith in it.
• The church wedding itself is usually celebrated on Sunday after the liturgy. It is customary for the bride and groom to receive Holy Communion during the liturgy. If they wish to prepare for Communion by confession, they can do this during the evening service the day before, on the morning before the liturgy (in our church from 9:30) or upon appointment.

Some texts for preparation

The meaning of Christian marriage 

A good preparation is to read at least one Gospel. The Gospel is the heart of the Christian life; during the service, the couple make a tour around a table with the Gospel. The central question of the Gospel (and of life) is: who is Jesus Christ? Just a good man? A wise teacher like Gandhi and Martin Luther King? Or God who came to humankind as a human being? 

Works on marriage

• Text of the services of betrothal and crowning
• Meyendorff, Fr John. Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective, ISBN 9780913836057 (History and explanation of the order of service of marriage. Slightly dry but very thorough and a good way to gain more in-depth knowledge of the service itself)
•   Evdokimov, Paul. The sacrament of love: the nuptial mystery in the light of the Orthodox Tradition, ISBN: 088141042X (One of the first books on marriage in the Orthodox tradition, written in French. Because of this a little philosophical in style)
• Webber, Fr Meletios. Bread & Water, Wine & Oil: An Orthodox Christian Experience of God, ISBN 1888212918 (Commentary on the sacraments, including marriage, by ‘our’ father Meletios)
•  Fr John Mack. Preserve Them, O Lord, ISBN: 9781888212013  (A quite American-style ‘self-help’ guide for prospective married couples. Includes helpful texts by Meyendorff, Hopko and others)
•  David & Mary Ford. Marriage as a Path to Holiness: Lives of Married Saints, ISBN: 9781878997524  (Beautiful foreword by Metr. Kallistos, inspiring as a counterweight to the many lives of monks and ascetics)
•  Chryssavgis, Fr John Love, Sexuality and the Sacrament of Marriage, ISBN: 9781885652034 (Theological work by a leading Greek American author)
•  Sherrard, Philip. Christianity and Eros: Essays on the Theme of Sexual Love, ISBN: 9789607120106 (Sherrard was one of the translators of the Philokalia from Greek. He lived much of his life in Greece and was a philosopher rather than a theologian. Beautiful, free line of thought)
• Elkhaninov, Fr Alexander.The  Diary of a Russian Priest, ISBN 978-0-88141-000-6 (One of the fundamental books on Orthodox spirituality, ideal for Lent. Contains wonderful texts on marriage)
• Fr Philip LeMasters, Ph.D. Toward a Eucharistic Vision of Church, Marriage, Family and Sex, ISBN 1-880971-85-2 (Recent publication also discussing the difference between Christian traditions)

Orthodoxy in general

• Metropolitan Kallistos Ware ‘The Orthodox Church’ (The best introduction to the Orthodox Church)
• Fr Andrew Louth. Introducing Eastern Orthodox Theology (Recent, crystal-clear introduction to Orthodox theology)
• Archimandrite Nektarios (Antonopoulos), The Return. Repentance and confession, the Return to God and His Church, Akritas 2000 (reprints) (The best introduction to confession currently available)
• Olivier Clément. The Roots of Christian Mysticism: Texts from the Patristic Era,  ISBN 978-1565480292 (Wonderful anthology of texts by the Holy Fathers from the beginning of church history)
• Colliander, Tito. The Way of the Ascetics, ISBN: 9780881410495  (Wonderful introduction to Orthodox asceticism, including within marriage. One of the standard works on Orthodoxy that everyone should know)

Practical aspects

The practical aspects are discussed during the preparation meeting. Below are some points that may be raised:

• If the crowning is held after the Liturgy, it is possible for the couple to use a separate room to have something to eat and to get dressed in.
• It is also possible to have a simple reception in the coffee room after the ceremony. However, this must be agreed in advance in connection with clearing and closing the church.
• The wedding rings are put on in the church, not at the registry office for the civil wedding. The priest must have the rings no later than the day of the wedding before the liturgy; the rings are placed on the altar during the liturgy.
• The spouses hold a candle in their left hand during the ceremony. It is necessary to prepare these candles beforehand and to give them to the priest before the service. Please make sure the candles cannot drip on the hands of the bride and groom. Usually, the candles are decorated with flowers or at least a cardboard circle. 
• There are different ways for the bride and groom to enter the church. Usually, the groom is first led into the church by his mother, then the bride by her father. Sometimes the bride and groom enter together.
• There is also a tradition when a child with an icon precedes each of the spouses – an icon of the Saviour for the groom, an icon of the Mother of God for the bride. Such icons are usually donated by parents or witnesses.
• There are also different traditions regarding the actual crowns. There are ‘Russian’ crowns (real crowns) and ‘Byzantine’ ones (shaped like laurel leaves, made of silver, gold or even live flowers). They are also handled in different ways: sometimes the crowns are held above the head all the time (in which case several crown bearers are needed, as one person cannot hold a crown for that long), sometimes they are held above the head only during the three rounds around the central stand.
• There is also a tradition where the bride and groom stand on a (white, new) towel.
• We always try our best to find a choir. This depends on many factors; we cannot guarantee a choir.
• We have a short description of the wedding service available; this can be adapted to the specific couple and distributed to non-Orthodox wedding guests. 
• It is not allowed to throw rice etc. when leaving the church. 
• Following the wedding, the parish secretariat will send a marriage certificate to the couple.
• Our parish does not have any ‘fees’. However, a contribution to the parish is appropriate. Some pointers: 
  • It is appropriate to give a modest amount to the singers. The easiest way is one envelope per singer, saving the choir leader the pain of changing money and doing arithmetic.
  • For each wedding, the parish needs to pay €50 to the diocese. What is above this amount is used for the needs of the parish.
  • The contribution can be transferred to the parish account (please mention ‘marriage’ and the name of the spouses) or given to the priest. 

All this will be discussed further during the talks with the priest.